Friday, January 8, 2021

About the Other Day...

     January 6th, 2021. America had a bad day.

Let's not confuse this event with anything else. This wasn't a BLM protest. This wasn't a Right to Work protest. This wasn't about masks, or sexuality, or personal freedom. So don't try to compare it to any of that.

A group rushed the capitol building, smashed doors and windows, attacked police(killing one), broke into offices, looted, attacked and smashed reporter's equipment, and planted pipe bombs. 

Why would they do that?

Because they have been convinced, one way or the other that the election was rigged and that they had to forcefully stop the process of confirming the President Elect.

President Trump has repeated for over a month now that there was widespread fraud during the election, let's take a look at that.

Trump's team filed 62 lawsuits against various states and courts. He lost 61 of those lawsuits. Almost all of his lawsuits were against states and counties that he lost in. If it was widespread fraud, why only attack the areas he lost in?

Among the lost lawsuits, many judges that dismissed the cases were appointees of the Trump administration and Republicans. Also, the 4 "witnesses" that the administration has toted around, refuse to go under oath in court.


Let's also look at how the President handles riots and protests.

For this particular event, Trump refused to sign an order allowing the National Guard to be deployed. After hours, Mike Pence stepped in and signed the order.

After almost five hours into the event, Trump posted a video saying, "I know you're hurt, we had an election that was stolen from us. It was a landslide election. But you have to go home now, I love you."*

For reference-8 months ago, Trump tweeted, "When the looting starts, the shooting starts."

He then tweeted that those raiding the Capitol were patriots, echoed by his daughter. Both tweets have been deleted.


So, the Republican candidate lost the election. No one smashed up the Capitol in any past election in our generation(Republican or Democrat). Why is this case so different?

Days before the 6th, Trump tweeted, "Statistically impossible to have lost the 2020 election. Big protest in DC on January 6th, will be wild!"

Rudy Guiliani said in a prepared speech, "Let's have trial by combat."


Those are the facts as have been presented over multiple networks and sources. I'm leaving out tons, because this is always moving and adjusting. One last thing I would like to address is the Qanon, Democrats rigged the election, lock her up, groups.

These groups, let's call them Democrat Obsessives, DO for short; have been working very hard to discredit their opposing party. Don't be confused, there are radical groups on the left as well, but since the radical right just attacked the Capitol under these pretenses, let's dive into it a little.

Let's look at the crazy one first, Qanon.

This movement states that America is run by a "cabal of pedophiles and Satan-worshipers who run a massive child sex trafficking ring and that Trump is the only person that can stop them"

Here's the fun parts. Qanon states that the Deep State, through the military, got Trump elected to fend off this cabal, then goes on to say that the Deep State turned around and twisted the media against him. Which is it?

Qanon then went on to say that "The Storm" a set of dates that people would be arrested by Trump, was coming, and even listed out the dates and times. Those dates came and went. Of course Q then posted that they had to be put off for various reasons.

My favorite theory, as I climbed the Qanon banana tree is that JFK is alive and he is Q, anonymously posting random videos and words that can be perceived in any way a person chooses to perceive them.

For example, Q posted a picture of an island, and that somehow turned into people thinking that the picture was taken from Air Force One, so clearly Q was with the President. No proof, no lateral thinking, simply deciding that, this is this-because that's what I want it to be.


Next, look at some more DO that are pro Trump simply because he says what they want to hear and is a Republican.

Trump did do some things right, but he did a lot more wrong.

The biggest impact he had was the Tax Cut and Jobs Act. This gave massive cuts to those making more that $500,000/annually and allowed for businesses to deduct and write off over 33% more than before. Along with the real estate tax cuts that cost the US approx. $83B but only benefit about 5,500 families.

These people also damn the Democratic party as socialists, yet demand their stimulus checks from the government during the Covid pandemic. A check that Trump refused to sign for weeks affecting millions that are unable to work do to the pandemic.

Withdrawal from the Paris Climate Agreement. He said it was one sided and the US was paying too much. Being in the Paris Climate Agreement is free. There is no fee. It is simply countries agreeing to do their best to help the climate and share information.

Withdrawal from the WHO(World Health Organization). In 2018 the US paid $893M to the WHO. China paid $434M. Trumps stated that we fund way more and that we were being ripped off. What he doesn't seem to understand is that 4/5th of the US contribution in 2018 was voluntary. While the WHO has faltered a few times, they literally eradicate disease. Systematically going door to door in Africa when needed. Withdrawal from that organization cripples the WHO's ability to operate. In a time when the entire world is crippled by a pandemic, it seems we should see the value in a group like that.

Last there are the DO folks who just hate Democrats.

Hillary is the devil, she masterminded the whole thing. Again, which is it? Is she a dumb bitch that lost the election to a more powerful opponent, or is she all knowing and in complete control? It doesn't work both ways.


Let's get back to the point.

I don't want to go into my personal feelings on this presidency too much. The point is, this mob that assaulted the capitol, they are not patriots. They are not fighting for freedom. They attacked at the time of the electoral ballot count in order to attack the flow of democracy.

These people do not deserve your praise or your pity. They chose to make America a laughing stock, and they make us all look bad, no matter what your political allegiance. 



If you have issues with any of the facts written above, take a minute and look them up. I did.

Friday, August 4, 2017

A Constant Reader's Review of the Dark Tower Movie

"There are other worlds than these."






These words ring more true than ever after sitting down to the surprisingly short run of The Dark Tower. As one who has read the series many times and the rest of the King universe at the same length; I was anxious to see where the writers along with Nikolaj Arcel would take us. As the lights went out and the production companies ran their logos they greet you a Tet-Corporation logo, with a rose and turtle. From there we open on children, some recognizable, in a place I recognize, and I know, from that first moment; they were going to do something special.



SPOILERS FOLLOW



This is not a movie made to follow the books. Instead we have something much more open to interpretation. If you took all of the books and put them in a blender and poured that juice out as the follow up to the seventh book in the series, this is what you would come up with.

Jake's back story and travel to Mid-World has changed.
The Can-Toi are already on the move, pushing to destroy the tower like never before.
We see the aftermath of Jericho Hill, and the death of Roland's father.
Roland himself is even different, as if he has yes...forgotten the face of his father.

But none of this bothered me. Not in the least. We see Jake's struggling with dreams of what was, almost as if he had lived this life once before. He is stronger than ever, not due to his connection to the Tower but because he has much more of something he had previously, the Shine. He was strong in the books, but in this run, he is unmatched.

The Man in Black is running his gambit on the tower, almost unopposed. He uses Merlin's Rainbow to keep an eye on Roland as well as torment him.

Jake, plagued by nightmares, and hunted on Keystone Earth by the can-toi runs to the only place he knows, the portal for midworld, keycode entry 19-19.

From here, we actually run with the books for a few. Roland and Jake come together and decide they have to hunt down Walter. In doing so they are attacked by a creature the is easily comparable to the creature from IT. After a run in with more can-toi, the small ka-tet go to Keystone Earth to find where Walter is hiding and kill him.

In this time, Walter has found Jake's parents and murdered them, mocking the ka-tet, but leaving enough clues that they could find him at the Dixie Pig where he waits with his army of can-toi.

Here we see a very different run of events. Upon approach, Jake is taken by Walter and Roland is forced to move quickly to the Dixie Pig. Jake is the strongest breaker alive, and with him Walter thinks he can bring the tower down immediately.

This is where Roland really comes alive. We get the gun play pushed through the novels as well as the reaction and speed only a gunslinger can muster. The final showdown is between Jake using his shine to resist causing a massive beam-quake, as well as Roland having it out with Walter face to face.

The end is not an end, but an opening. This movie truly acts as a set up to a much larger broader universe. Roland asks Jake to join him back in Mid-World, and with Walter(temporarily defeated?) the quest turns to the tower.

NOTES

There are definitely a few things that could have been hammered out a little more in this movie, for example, book dialog doesn't always sound great spoken out loud. Also, this is going to do a lot more for those that have read the books as it has loads of minor things and connections that most will not catch. I found constant notes and nods to other books in almost every backdrop.

The thing I think they captured perfectly is actually Roland. He is a lost knight of Eld and is focused purely on vengeance for Walter having a hand in killing everyone he knew and loved. The tactics of the Gunslinger were also fantastic. It is described in detail how proficient he is with his guns and how the man is a cold killer when necessary.

If you enjoyed the series, this is a must. If you like the idea of a sci-fi-western, this is also probably right up your alley.

As nervous as I was of seeing a series I hold so dear be mutilated by the Hollywood machine, I was pleasantly surprised at the care they took with this.

I would go see it again, if not just to be emerged in the world I love so much.

-Long days and pleasant nights...

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Back To The Future

I keep seeing talk about another Back to the Future movie. Let me be the one to break it to you, it's not going to happen. There's a very good reason for this, they're all dead.

Okay, not all of them.

We know that the DeLorean was fitted with a flux-capacitor. Also that the flux-capacitor was fueled by weapons grade plutonium.
At the end of BttF 3 we see a train hit the time machine as it runs out of gas on the train tracks. After a few fleeting seconds the flux-capacitor flickers out of juice. Plutonium is usually cased in magnesium with rubber bumpers. In this case, the machine was destroyed and cracked open. There are two possibilities at this point.

1-The machine goes critical after the machine erodes completely and levels all of Hilldale. Depending on the wind there would be a few square miles of fallout. The entire McFly family is incinerated along with Biff and the other beloved characters in the story.

2-The plutonium casing is destroyed and rain runs the poison into the water system. In this case the city survives, however all of the inhabitants are poisoned and more than likely die a much slower more painful death. No telling how long the water table will spread or how long it will take to recover.

Either way Doc's entire family is gone on their train and safe, as far as we know. So there is a possibility of a spin-off of the Brown family.
The real questions to all of this is...did Doctor Brown know?

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Pokemon: WHOA

Did you download it yet?
Have you seen people out playing it?
Have you almost been hit by someone driving while playing?
Have you taken pictures of the 40 year olds playing in the alley way out of shame?

There are a lot of people obviously into this game. Mostly getting that nostalgia feeling back. Pokémon was before my time, so I'm don't really care one way or the other. But there are people who are really into it and others that are pissed.
I'm seeing posts, "It's stupid" "Look up from your phone" "Get a life" "Grow up"
So much anger for some little...whatever the hell a pokemon is.

The thing that kills me is that these people talking about how the poke-folk should "Get a life" and "Augmented reality is a stupid idea" are the same people that play World of Warcraft, or Fantasy Football.
All in all, who gives a shit? As long as the poke-folk aren't smashing into you while they drive and catch, what's the big deal? Everyone is on their phone playing Candy Crush or checking Facebook or Instagram anyway. It gives some people a social experience with a game attached.
If you're one of the people hating on the poke-folk, maybe you should re-examine all the dumb shit you do in your life.

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Its Just A #

Age is Just a Number.
That's a saying I've heard quite a bit lately. Mostly because I am around people dating other people at different ages. Also there is an ad on the back of a magazine for makeup using that tag, it's sitting in my living room. I get it, but I wonder if it's a little overused. It's cutesy and people use it correctly but...maybe we should start using it in the wrong ways?
Like, when a 50 year old teacher gets arrested for banging a 12 year old. Maybe they should testify that they were in love and age is just a number.
Or when someone gets caught fondling a corpse, hey, he was attractive once, he'd be 143 today.
We could put down a bunch of puppies, I mean age is just a number after all.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

We Did This To Ourselves

Let's take a quick look at the internet as a whole and note some shittyness that has taken place. If you see a link that starts with one of the following...stay away. You too can prevent horseshit link herpes.

-The 25 best photos of...
             These could be photos of anything, people at Walmart, attractive athletes, grown up child stars. Do Not Be Fooled. They are not the best. They are garbage. Look out the window. There, you've seen better stuff than that link.

-These People/You/He/She is in for a surprise!
          Everyone is in for a surprise. Want to watch some people get hurt? Just type fail videos into youtube. At the very least you won't be giving a troll the traffic they don't deserve.

-If you ever see this creature run!
       These should be pretty self explanatory. If you're in the driveway scratching your ass and a rhino comes running, you probably shouldn't stay still.

-Horrifying/Classified/Amazing/Brutal/Disgusting photos they don't want you to see.
       Watch a horror movie. Is brutal shit your thing? Read the news instead.

-The easiest way to get a mortgage.
       Believe it or not, is to go to the bank.

-They just kept recording!
       No shit, they're camera men, and the people were on TV. What did you expect.

-What does your Name/Eyecolor/Haircolor say about you?
       If you're going to read this you may as well skip it and read a horoscope instead. It'll be about the same level of insight.

-These photos will leave you speechless.
      They won't.  Really.

-Any number of surprising secrets you didn't know!
       I'm going to bet that you already know these, and they aren't secrets.

-Why no one will hire this Actress/Actor/Musician/Director/Writer anymore.
      Is this something on your list of info needed to know? Are these ever accurate?

-This politician destroys the other parties ideas in 2 minutes, MUST WATCH!
      Someone ripping into an opposite belief is pretty much day to day at this point. Almost none of these are accurate statements based on facts, instead hoping that you share their opinions. Taking someone else's rant(usually based of their income, not belief) as fact is never a good idea.

Did we learn anything?
Please don't click on bullshit. If you're that bored I suggest going to a few sites that are pretty rad. Readfreebooks
reddit
redtube
or if things are really dire, and you're not stuck at work simply turn off the computer and go start an argument with a stranger.
You can do it!

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Not Safe For Earth

     There's a lot of political bullshit out there. A WHOLE lot. Especially being an election year, though it tends to go on for two years these days. Plenty of issues for both sides to complain about and scream at each other about, people fighting for you to believe their side is right. That's all fine and good...well actually it's usually terrible and fucking disgusting, but that's not the point.
     One thing I keep hearing is that these scientists are all full of shit and this whole climate change thing is garbage. I notice most of this is people screaming about how if it's really "global warming" then why's it snowing? Shut up. That's dumb. Climate change is about the earth itself being affected by all of us humans guzzling down fossil fuels and taking a dump on the planet.
    So...for the sake of the skeptics, lets see about what good it would do to change from fossil fuels to clean energy. It will be a long process. There is a lot of discussion about job loss, but that's pretty hollow. The workers in current energy would have to learn new energy. That whole adapting thing that we've been doing since...forever. SO that's easy, we switch, make it a cleaner, healthier planet for us and the next generation.
     Now this whole climate change thing. Let's say for a minute that there is even a 1% chance that it's real. We've already discussed all the good it will do. So what's your problem?
     I'm not telling you to become a hippy and buy hemp clothes and go vegan. I'm just saying, maybe don't close yourself off to something that could very possibly be real. "Those dumb scientists don't know what they're talking about." I think you may be right, those stupid scientists and engineers and chemists, fools, the lot of them. They say not to drink bleach, idiots! If you think that all those scientists are full of shit, please pour yourself a bleach cocktail. Cheers to your convictions!

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Take if from the Kids

Who do you take advice from?
As an adult, I try to take advice from people that know what they're talking about. Medical consulting from doctors, auto advice from mechanics, and drink suggestions from bartenders. Recently it seems, companies seem to have forgotten where and from who to get and give advice. There are an awful lot of new commercials were kids are giving advice. A child discussing who you should get your insurance from, or a baby telling you how to trade your stocks, or an entire group of kids telling you where to buy your chicken nuggets.
At what point in time did these companies decide that their customers would rather get advice from children with no real world experience than professionals? Even an actor that portrays a person that has been through an experience seems better than a child. There is nothing in a child's portrayal that gives me the illusion that they have actually spent hours browsing insurance companies.
With that said, I wouldn't be against some classes that would make kids more self sufficient. If we want to get kids to that point, lets do it fast. Let's teach them all Microsoft Office so they can do our taxes, and when they're done with that, they can run down to the liquor store and pick out the finest whiskey for mommy and daddy.

Thursday, March 12, 2015

The Shower Boogy

Reviewing some of the popular dances over the years, I notice that a lot of them are based on something else: The Sprinkler, Milking the Big Cow, The Shopping Cart, Window Wiper.
Then there are the kinds that just describe what you're doing: Pop and Lock, Moon Walk.
There are also songs that tell you what to do, such as the Hokey Pokey, Line Dancing, cha cha slide, and cupid shuffle.
Using that formula, I've come up with the next new hit. You're welcome.

The Shower Boogy-Set to country 2 step
(Act out each line in time with the music)

Pull back the curtain, now step right in.
Turn on the water, let it wet your skin.
Grab the soap, and lather your hand.
Spit in the drain, that's how it's planned.
Brush those pits, get them primed,
Belly button too, make it shine.
Get those toes and behind the ears,
One place left that everyone fears,
Spread those cheeks and scrub the hole,
That's how you do the shower boogy bowl.

It's the shower, boogy, bowl.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Yuletide Oppression

Santa runs the North Pole with his friendly elves creating toys for all the good little boys and girls. Some say Santa is an elf himself, but if he's an elf he's a damn big one. That doesn't really make sense does it? Unless of course he got into some of Bane's Venom.
So if Santa started taking massive amounts of steroids in order to become the king of the elves, then he has them make toys for kids? Sounds like a front to me, powered on slave labor. Maybe the adults of this world that have received the toys created from elves sweat and blood owe a little something to the slave workers of our childhood...
For only pennies a day, you could supply an elf with enough steroids to bulk up and help topple their yuletide captors, nine months could change a life time of oppression. These poor elves suffer under unfit working condition and freezing temperatures with only long socks to protect their legs from the bitter cold.
Won't you help...


Monday, February 2, 2015

Age Old Screen Names

There was a time when chatting with strangers on the internet fell into fairly unregulated categories, mostly horny teenagers and lonely adults. Screen names were usually hatched in a 20 second binge using a variety of key words that were sure to draw in the desirable conversationalists: Gamer, Doggy, Skater, GuitarMan, Hott, XXX, etc.
The other part that came to be rather quickly was adding numbers to the screen name, because how in the world could somebody else get to the name FriskyMick first? Maybe you could be FriskyMick2, or spice it up and be FriskyMick69. When that didn't work you could go with your birthday, or year of birth, get it out there that you are in fact FriskyMick21, or FriskyMick94 a young stud named Mick.
On the other hand, if you were spry and felt like trying to get some pics from a young promiscuous stranger maybe you use FriskyMick34, for the year you were born. Coast those middle aged chat rooms looking for the perfect combination of lonely and drunk. Letting your fingers drag across the keys, making references to TV
shows from the 50's, but people think you're eccentric not old. Lean back and wait for the pictures to process, one pixel at a time. Try and stay awake through that 10 minute download.

Monday, December 1, 2014

How Many Licks?

Somehow I saw the old school tootsie roll commercial again, and something about it stood out.
Yes there was still that asshole owl that ate the kid's candy, but there were other things. A random kid walking around in the woods talking to cows, foxes, turtles and owl? What mushrooms was he licking before he decided to talk to these animals? And why the hell isn't he wearing any clothes? And why is the fox wearing sunglasses? And if the owl is a professor why is he still wearing his hat from graduation?
Seems to me that somewhere along the way, the kid decided to take bath salts and offer "animals" his "tootsie pop", he got turned down quite a few times, until he found that old professor. Yes, he was very willing to help him with his licking problem. Smart owls know when an opportunity is staring them in the eye.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

I Love My TV

I'm a pretty open minded guy, no that's not really true, I'm a caveman.
Being a caveman, you would think I love to be outside. No, no I do not. If there is a pool available, or some sort of communal activity that involves sunshine and drinking, I'll be there. Camping is confusing to me. I'll explain.

We, the royal WE, the human race created things like AC units, carpet, insulation, thermal cook microwaves and water heaters, there are even people with heated toilet seats. What part of the brain says that it's cool to spend all that money on expensive stuff for entertainment and comfort, but to leave it all behind and go spend a weekend in the woods. The woods without electricity or functional toilets, or the Internet.
I understand the getting in touch with nature piece, go look at a flower, takes a couple minutes then you can be back on the couch eating Cheetos in no time.
There is the piece(mostly in men) that says, "Me can survive. Me strong. I can do it with my hands." Being a man, I get that part too. Go canoeing, prove that you're a God on the rapids, then go take a hot shower and order some faux Italian pizza and have it delivered to your door while you sip an ice cold chocolate milk in your underwear.

I say enjoy all these technical marvels while you can. We can camp when the zombies come.

Friday, October 10, 2014

I Want a Makeover!

Spending a little time at the local mall I got a chance to stroll through one of the makeup counters. Every counter had multiple salespeople offering makeovers to women of all ages, from trying various makeups and wrinkle creams to sitting down and getting your makeup done. Many women and girls passed on the free makeovers even if they were buying the products offered.

Why don't they have something like this at the mall for men? Maybe a craft beer counter, when you can sit down and try all 14 crafts beers to make your choice just a little easier. Perhaps a meat counter, where you try a variety of meats with different rubs and branded sauces? How about a gun counter where you can try out any handgun you want to find the perfect fit? Come on malls, where's your sense of adventure? The guys are there bored off their asses, you just need to cater.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Jewish Black Asian Hispanic People Meet.com

I leave the TV on in the background pretty much all day. With that in mind, I tend to hear and occasionally see the same commercials over and over. One that caught my attention was the new blackpeoplemeet website advertisement. Originally I thought it was odd because the way they were advertising their product was by showing two people bumping into each other at a grocery store. If you can do that why the hell would I pay for your service?
Then I considered, how pissed would people get if there was a whitepeoplemeet website. With a little research not only did I discover that everyone thinks that the black dating site is simply segregating for the sole point of segregating, but that THERE IS a whitepeoplemeet web site.Racist, definitely, worth a look, oh yea.
If you're like me and just enjoy seeing people make complete asses of themselves, check out one of these websites. There is actually a guy on the front page of whitepeoplemeet right now wearing old German military fatigues. Delightful.So I decided to look at a few more of the odd ones to let you know what you're missing.

Ashley Madison-A site dedicated to married people looking to hook up. Wanna get caught in your affair real quick? Post your picture online declaring that you're looking for some strange.

Women Behind Bars-connects you to a woman in jail to chat with. Someday maybe you can rob a liquor store together.

Pot partner-Wanna get high and consider banging before we fall asleep...mmm pizza...

Tall Friend-Yup, a dating site just for tall peoples, no shorties allowed.

Trek Passions-Only for the uber nerdy, specifically for those with a passion for Star Trek or Star Wars.

last but definitely not least-

Daily Diapers-That's right, you know you want to dress up like a baby and have someone change, spank, feed, and bathe you. This sight is for anyone who wants to relive the baby years, and for someone who just really wants to spank adults in diapers apparently.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Why Watch?

There is a disturbance in the televised entertainment universe.
Men (obviously I can speak to that on a better level) enjoy watching kick ass guys and hot girls do kick ass things. It's a testosterone driven sex fest. Even with horror or supernatural movies, it seems that guys are proving to themselves that we're so damn manly, we can sit through a horror movie without spoiling our panties.
Women on the other hand make choices that I have tried to understand, but still fail miserably. They want to watch movies that make them sad and cry, which seems like a horrible decision. Or shows about ignorant pompous "real" people that make them angry/jealous/and sometimes laugh at their insanity. Mix in there a little bit of the romantic stuff, that is the mirror image of a guy's macho movie: take the formula and repeat with new actors/special effects/minor plot twists/animal/aliens/etc.

So let's roll this out men, watch shit that gets their testosterone up and puff the chest out. Idiotic, but since I fall in that class and I just watched Commando-SHUT UP, WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT?!?!

Women watch things that make them cry, hate men in general, and wish that they had the life of the Think You Can Model Idol 2: Romance in the Caribbean.

Solution: Obviously you could burn your television, but then what would you watch porn on? Plan B: Watch a chick flick and action movie simultaneously. Yea, she may cry while he's screaming in a testosterone filled rage, but there's always the chance for make up sex away from your imaginary friends.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Red Handled Cleaver

I once had a cleaver with a red handle grip,
Its blade was so shiny with a sharp pointy tip.
Forever estranged in a world worth slicing,
With no blade in hand, it's so less enticing.
Where have you gone, my red handled cleaver,
To find a new home and cut out the fever?
We had some good times, when you were shiny and new,
You sliced through it all, even bone and sinew.
I hope that you find a hand made for dicing,
Perhaps you can teach it about people slicing.
Tell them stories about days from the past,
How we sliced that poor hobo, how he was our last.
I wish you the best, oh red handled blade,
Our time was short, but with bodies we paved.
Gone from me now, without even farewell,
I think I'll head to the mall, to the cutlery sale.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

SPORTS!

I don't care about sports, of any kind. That being said, I will attend sports functions, usually under the bribe of alcohol. Given how far they can go with mascots and events at arenas it seems like they are missing a vital piece to wrap in those slightly less sporty folk. If your team is the Vikings, why wouldn't you have a slew of people dressed up in Nordic wear screaming at people and pounding beer?
Better yet, why not name a professional team the Zombies, and everyone in the stadium can dress up?
Serve some tangy red sauce on everything. Pour the beer into plastic versions of melee weapons. And whenever someone scores have an entire group of zombies chase them around the stadium.
I would get watch that team.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Sleep Through That

The human body is an amazing thing. People are able to ignore one thing while getting completely caught up in another. Some get thrown off guard by the tiniest things, while another is able to totally ignore the event. Then there are people that can sleep through almost anything. Movies at full volume, video games-literally world war three. Then there is that tiny thing. For example: a man snoring. How can a woman sleep through explosions, demons screaming, and zombies eating people alive; but one little snort and she is completely conscious? The human body is weird, and it keeps some people up at night...at least one lady.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Pray for Arkansas

There are an influx of people that change their Facebook profile pictures, or post little twitter prayers about people that are afflicted by natural disasters. Beside those are people begging for prayers for sick children, people going into surgery, lost kids, murder victims...dogs with a cough, headaches, a stubbed toe etc.
The internal view, we as the human race, seems to have these days is getting worse. Don't change your little Facebook profile to let all your friends know that you're so great that you can pray. Get in your car, drive to Mayflower and do something about it. When you take a second and think about it, those prayers are wasted anyway. God's the one that did this.