Friday, April 18, 2014

It's Feeling A Lot Like Summer

Warm weather is coming back people. We all know what that means! Girls in bikinis, bros with popped collars, and getting separated from your friends in the woods and having your legs cut off with a chainsaw!
That's right kids, summer massacres are back and better than ever! Book that trip to the beach, cash in on that groupon for the lakeside cabin for 4, fly to a foreign land and stay in a hostel with strangers that suck on pennies!
And don't forget; Lowe's is offering low interest credit for 84 months. Chainsaws, hedge clippers, chains, shovels, tarps, power drills, bolt cutters, all on credit, fantastic! That gives you 7 full years to hide the bodies, or eat them. Why not put some of that credit to a stand up freezer, then make a game of seeing how many severed limbs will fit before it turns into Jenga?
Let 2014 be your summer of adventure!

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Sleepy Time

As kids, sleepovers were a planned night of fun. Play video games until the AM, watch movies, run around the neighborhood.  A great excuse to do dumb crap with friends. Then the next morning consisted of breakfast, usually unnecessary amounts of sugar and more video games.
Sleep overs still happen, we just don't call them sleep overs anymore. Instead of planned events, we end up having unscheduled socially responsible sleep overs. It doesn't have to do with staying up all night, it has to do with the entire world spinning, and not getting a DUI. The mornings aren't about breakfast as much as getting as many Tylenol and coffee's into your body as fast as possible.