Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Bumper Your Face!

Bumper stickers really don't have a purpose. I get the one's that are for a band, or a school. I went to Crofford Community College skipadee-dee! (Lucky you, I decided not to copy right skipadee-dee and you are now allowed to shout it at all parties and gatherings going forward). Then there are the bumper stickers about politics and religion that are pretty much people just waiting for their car to get keyed. Or the ones that have "clever" saying, like Fish or Die, I'm only Speeding because I have to Poop, or Jesus Loves You, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole. Good, great, glad you could share all of that with the world.
I've noticed that when I'm behind someone in traffic and I'm angry(side note, I'm always on the verge of murdering innocents when in traffic) I see these bumper stickers and alter them to levels of pain.
For Example:
-Fish or Die: Oh, you're right about die part you piece of shit, the light's GREEN!
-I'm only Speeding because I have to Poop: Oh really? That's hilarious, because if you don't turn of your blinker I'm going to shit down your throat!
-Jesus Loves You, but everyone else thinks your an asshole: I swear to Jesus, if you don't stop texting, I'm going to smash into you, light your car on fire, and pray to God that you feel the contents of your stomach boil before you die.

And always a winner, if they have a handicap sticker-"Oh, I'm gonna make you handicapped if you don't get your damn foot off the break!"

Isn't society lovely.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

My Reader is the Best!

Which do you prefer, the iPad, the Nook, Kindle, Jetbook, Icarus, Kobo, or any of the other hundred options of electronic readers? This one has a longer battery life, but it gets really bad glare. You can read this one in the sun, but it doesn't show anything in color. Blah blah blah, bitch bitch bitch.
You know the best way to read? It's a book. No glare, no battery life. Pure and simple.
Don't over think everything.