Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Ghost Dad

When I was a kid ghost movies freaked me out. Some of them still do, but there's a odd difference between ghost movies and all others. Ghosts used to be people and still have some connection to their humanity. Zombies are dead cannibals with no brain, vampires need blood to survive, demons are just dicks. Ghosts are in their own little world.
After I thought about this I realized that if I ever came across a ghost that there is really nothing to be afraid of. I'm sure if ghosts exist they are more than likely spending all of their time checking in on their loved ones or hanging out in celebrity homes and watching models undress. I'm sure Swayze is still following Demi around out there somewhere. Come to think of it, it doesn't sound too bad being a ghost. Where's that power drill....

Thursday, July 25, 2013


A kid today said that there are a whole bunch of cranky old people where he works.
I have no idea where he works but I assume that no matter where you are or where you go there are going to be pissed off seniors somewhere nearby.
Do you know why they're pissed off? Because they're still breathing.
Look at your age, then think about how many things you complain about, music, clothes, TV, movies, people in general.
Multiply that by a few decades then consider how pissed you'll be.
Next time you see a pissed off old person just give them a nod, you'll be there soon enough.