Wednesday, March 27, 2013


Why would any post or repost these ridiculous comments scattered throughout the Internet that are self evident? "Post if you hate child abuse!" Really?
These are just cries for attention, weak minded people on a bad day will stop and say, 'Oh, those poor kids' and repost it. Stop.
If someone says, "Post if you don't like painful sex in the ass." and you, in fact, do not like painful ass sex; then yes please, by all means repost that. These are things we want to know.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Super Size My Ass

Why ban supersize meals? If people can't control themselves then they need to be fat. If they have such a hard time controlling themselves that they get health problems and hit weights around 450 lbs then they probably have it coming. Go ahead and rid the world of yourself and we can replace you with someone with a slightly stronger will. McDonalds and Heart Attack Grill are essentially the next step in human evolution, and they are delicious.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

It's Science

I read an article that detailed how much of the Earth is going to be covered in water in the next 100 years. According to the ice caps melting and all that business we're going to be pretty much up shit creek. With all the advances in science you'd think there would be a way to stop this. Be it a super vent into space that all women have to stand under whenever they do their hair, or by shooting large containers of salt water to the moon. If nothing else we could at least shoot the losers of all game shows around the world to the moon. Science has at least gotten that far.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013


There aren't enough foods that explode. In fact there really aren't any that explode on purpose. We need some sort of wild fruit that once it makes contact with saliva just starts popping around in your mouth. It would be an awesome way to get out of a meeting or to give to your grandmother. Come on science!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

The New Alert

I think there should be some sort of alert system put on our cleaning supplies. Say after one week a small alarm on your broom goes off because it hasn't moved. Same thing with the duster and vacuum. This could make millions. Think of all the people that just don't think about those things when they get home from a long day of work.
This idea could also be used on other items, like the treadmill, dog toy, and lingerie.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Mmmm, delicious

Upon cutting myself today (mostly on accident) I realized that blood is thick and sticky. I knew this from numerous other interactions with blood but had never given it a ton of thought before now.
You know what else is thick and sticky, nope, not that...maple syrup. I also learned that blood, a lot like maple syrup is delicious on pancakes. So good in fact that I'll be having breakfast for dinner this evening!