Thursday, October 31, 2013

No More Talky

There is a commercial out now where a kid uses Google to research a school project. In the next scene he searches Google for "How to ask a girl out".
This is a perfect example of how society has evolved to a point where even the most basic things are automated, including advice. Not only are we accepting that childhood advice should be handed down from strangers via the Internet, but companies are advertising by selling the fact that their goods are outsourcing parenting.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Who Gives a Shit About Kids?

I've noticed a very odd and somewhat creepy trend in women lately.
When watching a show such as The Walking Dead (10/20) there were a number of small animals killed and the ladies in the room freaked out, covered their eyes, and would not watch. Lamenting cries of "Those poor little pigs!"
That's not weird, what's weird is that just ten minutes earlier zombies were eating children. CHILDREN, and they didn't bat an eye. No muffled cries, no, "those poor babies!" Nothing.
Guys, look out, because if some horrible event does befall us, and it comes down to eating the family may have to watch your ass.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Scared Shitless

I watch a lot of horror movies. Some of them are creepy, and then there are the ones that stick around and sink back into my head around 3am when I wake up because my dog decides to bark for 5 minutes straight.
In my childhood there was the fear of something under my bed, when I needed to jump the last three feet to my mattress so that nothing could make a grab for me. That's still not as bad as bathrooms. I couldn't put my finger on if for a long time, but it's because that's one place that you're almost always alone. Alone in a room that usually has no windows or small ones, and a large curtain blocking off a nice chunk of space.
And there's really nothing worse than a ghost deciding to come after you while you're on the john, then you have to make the hard decision...wipe or run...

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Bringing You Hit After Hit

Every other commercial I see is about some show where people sing covers of other people's music and say that they are bringing you "hit after hit".
Are we saying that your show isn't any better than listening to the radio? You're not writing those songs yourself are you? I'm pretty sure PPuffDiddyDaddy brought in a whole bunch of hits, I think they were written by other people like that very unknown band Led Zeppelin.
Every time a show advertises someone else's ideas they should include a warning-Not as good as the original.