evolution

When my phone decides to take an extra few seconds to send an email or pull up a web page I can get pissed. This makes zero sense. Thinking about just a few years ago my phone didn't even have a screen on it, this technology wasn't available to us yet we think that since we've had it for a few years we deserve every aspect of it.
I wonder if guys back in the day would buy something as simple as the cotton gin and after a few weeks of using it, flip the hell out when it wouldn't work. You mean I have to pull cotton like I used to a few days ago? Fuck That! I want to hit something because I've gotten used to a standard of cotton pulling that is now eluding me.
I love technology.

I have to say...

I hear people say this all the time, "I have to say" followed up by something like, "this meatloaf is amazing".
No. This is just a sentence to ensure that all attention is on you before you say something that you think doesn't make you sound pretentious. "I have to say, Linda's hair makes her look like a whore". You don't have to say these things.
The only time this phrase should be considered is when a gun is being pressed to someones skull. In that case it's completely acceptable. What's that? They have my family suspended over a pool full of sharks?
Listen guys, I have to say, that guy's body hair looks like his mom fucked Snuffleupagus.-Acceptable.

Rainbow Row

I love all these insane anti-gay people. This shows us what it looks like to be completely bat shit nuts. There are really two big problems with their stand: 1-Banning gay marriage. The first amendment states “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise of…” So the fact that gay marriage is currently illegal in most states goes against the US Constitution.

The second statement said most often-It’s immoral. Less than 50 years ago it was illegal in the majority of the United States to preform or receive oral sex due to its immorality. In 1919 it was made  illegal to make, ship, sale, or consume alcohol due to immorality.

So if you want to bash something you don’t understand based on it being “immoral”, take a look at that beer in your hand and your fancy porn, and get bent.

Evolution

I enjoyed the X-Men comic and cartoon growing up, but then as I got older I thought about the whole evolution thing. Understanding that it's a comic book, I still wonder what the next steps in human evolution would be. I'm hoping that it's something along the lines of only having to sleep 2 hours a day to feel fully refreshed. Or maybe even our bodies use everything we give them, and we only have to go to the bathroom once a week. Imagine all the time that would free up.

Puppy Power

We see people everyday that we look at as crazy. Then there are the ones that we actually stand there in the parking lot watching the woman scream at her cat for getting in the front seat of her car while she was inside Walmart. It's these people that force you to stare blatantly with your mouth open that confuse me the most. We see them as batshit nuts, but I wonder if they have any idea of how they look.
Example: I saw a woman this morning at Barnes and Noble carrying a small dog like a baby, no problem there. But she was reading the inside sleeve of books to the dog and then looking at its face as if it was going to have an opinion on the plot of the story.
So the real question is, can this just be a lonely old woman who loves her dog...or, possibly a woman devoted to faith believing that this dog is her reincarnated husband. It's either one of those things, or this crazy bitch thinks the dog can read.

R E S P E C T

People have a tendency to shit talk. More than most do it when the person leaves the room, "Man, Darrel is a real dumb piece of shit when it comes to anything not involved with golf." That's not what interests me, it's the way this is almost off limits when the person croaks. Everyone is saying, 'Hey man, respect the dead." Horseshit, they're dead, fuck it. It doesn't hurt when you don't have feelings, in fact, Darrel sucked at golf too, fuck him.
The only oddity is people that were truly pieces of shit. Hitler for example, nobody wants to respect the dead when you're talking about a man responsible for genocide. This example is a little extreme of course.
So next time someone says to have a little respect for the dead, don't worry, they'll die soon and you can talk all the shit about them you want too.

Get Down

I want to know what everyone thought about the first person who decided they were going to dance. It had to look like they were having a seizure that just happened to go in time with the music. Also, in the origin, there weren't sweet moves like the sprinkler or milking the big cow, they just had to make it up as they went along. It had to be a rough start.