It's Feeling A Lot Like Summer

Warm weather is coming back people. We all know what that means! Girls in bikinis, bros with popped collars, and getting separated from your friends in the woods and having your legs cut off with a chainsaw!
That's right kids, summer massacres are back and better than ever! Book that trip to the beach, cash in on that groupon for the lakeside cabin for 4, fly to a foreign land and stay in a hostel with strangers that suck on pennies!
And don't forget; Lowe's is offering low interest credit for 84 months. Chainsaws, hedge clippers, chains, shovels, tarps, power drills, bolt cutters, all on credit, fantastic! That gives you 7 full years to hide the bodies, or eat them. Why not put some of that credit to a stand up freezer, then make a game of seeing how many severed limbs will fit before it turns into Jenga?
Let 2014 be your summer of adventure!