Getting old isn't fun. It's pretty rare that you hear people past the age of 21 talking about how they only wish they were a little older. Unless of course they're half a step away from getting their senior discount card. I've decided that even though we're all going to get old and most likely acquire some horrible debilitating disease along the road to death there are still a few things to look forward to.
-Meeting new people-Once you get Alzheimer's everyone is new. Even better if you've been married for 50 years. You can slam that old wrinkly spouse of yours for the very first time, every time!
-Everything is new-Memory dissipates. The human brain cleans itself of useless memories and the older you get the more things you can forget. Remember how much you loved the ending of that movie? Of course you don't! Watch it again and gasp in shock as the protagonist does their thing. Then watch it again in an hour!
-Get it on-Parkinson's is far from fun, but work with what you've got. Eat half a steak then shake the rest onto the floor. The restaurant will feel so bad for you, they'll give you a new one at no charge!
While you've got the shakes, hop on your old lady, you've become a human vibrator, you're wife will be happier than ever!
See, getting old can be fun, just make sure you push the limits on those closest to you. And yell at kids. They'll ruin your lawn.
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