Why Are They Together?

In the store I hear two guys talking about a couple that is shopping in the aisle ahead of us.
"Why the hell is that chick with that guy? She's hot as hell."
Let me tell you why sonny boy. That ugly dude worked his balls off and charmed his way into that chicks heart and pants. On top of that, who's to say that the hot female is not a hot bitch? She could have a personality like a sewer drain and that ugly guy can accept that as long as he gets to look at her.
There are a lot of ifs, like, if you weren't busy playing grab ass with your friend in the grocery store maybe you could put a little bit of time into your own personal life.

What the Fila?

In the past Chick-Fil-A has gotten some press due to their stance on homosexuality.
Yesterday three middle aged men were standing in front of the restaurant at lunch rush hour with large crosses tied together with American flags. What? This can go both ways, let's go over them:

Pro Fil-A: Maybe they are saying that they agree with the business' stance on homosexuality. And how better to do it than with a Christian symbol that in theory supports everyone under a God that is all understanding and forgiving. Or under the American flag which in it's first moments stated that "All men are created equal..." (I understand the hypocrisy there, but stick with me.) A nation that in the last decade has given more rights to the homosexual community than ever in history.

Anti Fil-A: Perhaps these people are taking a stand against a company that has openly stated that they do not support anyone who isn't a heterosexual, and the best way to do that is to wave a flag from a nation that still refuses and fights from giving equal rights homosexuality. Also why not attach it to a Christian symbol that usually denies homosexuality in their vast congregations, and has declared it a sin.

If you want to protest/support anything, think it through at least a tiny bit. This world is so full of extremist shit birds that they don't even care that they're not making sense anymore.

What's the Rush?

Twice today I have been sitting at a red light while the car next to me inches forward every couple seconds. Eventually the guy is hanging out in the middle of the damn road. What's so important that you can't wait 30 seconds for the light to change?
Not only that, this asshole is now blocking the intersection and when the light finally turns green he doesn't go because he's too busy playing candy crush or some shit on his cell phone and everyone laps his ass. Next time he needs to inch into a rushing river.

Bad Dog

Why do they make dog toys that look like things that I don't want my dog to eat? If I give my dog a toy that looks like a shoe then he thinks my shoes are fair game. No!
Why can't they make a toy that resembles the Kardashian family or Jimmy Falon?  Teach that dog what really needs biting.

Fuck Your Party

Over the course of the last presidential election I discovered something very horrible about politics and America's stupidity. I'm a little late to the game on politics but when listening to two sides of a debate I listed to both sides.
Somehow we have adapted our sports mantra to politics. "I'm a Republican, I don't give a shit what our guy stands for as long as he's a Republican too, we need Obama out!" "I'm a Democrat, no matter what Obama does he's right!"
This is just fucking stupid. Politics doesn't work by standing behind your team because a football team doesn't decide law. Chances are you agree with pieces of policy from both parties but you have your head shoved so far up your ass that you can't see it.
Next time you're watching a hard liberal/conservative broadcast ie. FOX or MSNBC think about how hard they are pushing you to support or in most cases hate a representative, not based on what they are doing or what that person is working for but because of who supports them.
If any group would work half as hard at dictating law and putting plans in action as they do slinging shit at their opponents we wouldn't hate politicians...well probably still a little bit.

Ghost Dad

When I was a kid ghost movies freaked me out. Some of them still do, but there's a odd difference between ghost movies and all others. Ghosts used to be people and still have some connection to their humanity. Zombies are dead cannibals with no brain, vampires need blood to survive, demons are just dicks. Ghosts are in their own little world.
After I thought about this I realized that if I ever came across a ghost that there is really nothing to be afraid of. I'm sure if ghosts exist they are more than likely spending all of their time checking in on their loved ones or hanging out in celebrity homes and watching models undress. I'm sure Swayze is still following Demi around out there somewhere. Come to think of it, it doesn't sound too bad being a ghost. Where's that power drill....

Crotchety

A kid today said that there are a whole bunch of cranky old people where he works.
I have no idea where he works but I assume that no matter where you are or where you go there are going to be pissed off seniors somewhere nearby.
Do you know why they're pissed off? Because they're still breathing.
Look at your age, then think about how many things you complain about, music, clothes, TV, movies, people in general.
Multiply that by a few decades then consider how pissed you'll be.
Next time you see a pissed off old person just give them a nod, you'll be there soon enough.