Friday, September 28, 2012

evolution

When my phone decides to take an extra few seconds to send an email or pull up a web page I can get pissed. This makes zero sense. Thinking about just a few years ago my phone didn't even have a screen on it, this technology wasn't available to us yet we think that since we've had it for a few years we deserve every aspect of it.
I wonder if guys back in the day would buy something as simple as the cotton gin and after a few weeks of using it, flip the hell out when it wouldn't work. You mean I have to pull cotton like I used to a few days ago? Fuck That! I want to hit something because I've gotten used to a standard of cotton pulling that is now eluding me.
I love technology.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

I have to say...

I hear people say this all the time, "I have to say" followed up by something like, "this meatloaf is amazing".
No. This is just a sentence to ensure that all attention is on you before you say something that you think doesn't make you sound pretentious. "I have to say, Linda's hair makes her look like a whore". You don't have to say these things.
The only time this phrase should be considered is when a gun is being pressed to someones skull. In that case it's completely acceptable. What's that? They have my family suspended over a pool full of sharks?
Listen guys, I have to say, that guy's body hair looks like his mom fucked Snuffleupagus.-Acceptable.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Rainbow Row


I love all these insane anti-gay people. This shows us what it looks like to be completely bat shit nuts. There are really two big problems with their stand: 1-Banning gay marriage. The first amendment states “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise of…” So the fact that gay marriage is currently illegal in most states goes against the US Constitution.
The second statement said most often-It’s immoral. Less than 50 years ago it was illegal in the majority of the United States to preform or receive oral sex due to its immorality. In 1919 it was made  illegal to make, ship, sale, or consume alcohol due to immorality.
So if you want to bash something you don’t understand based on it being “immoral”, take a look at that beer in your hand and your fancy porn, and get bent.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Evolution

I enjoyed the X-Men comic and cartoon growing up, but then as I got older I thought about the whole evolution thing. Understanding that it's a comic book, I still wonder what the next steps in human evolution would be. I'm hoping that it's something along the lines of only having to sleep 2 hours a day to feel fully refreshed. Or maybe even our bodies use everything we give them, and we only have to go to the bathroom once a week. Imagine all the time that would free up.